The Third Wheel
The Third Wheel
One day I sat on the couch, tears gathering in my eyes because it had just dawned on me that I was so busy being a mom to my month old infant and trying to keep up with the other basics of everyday life (you know, washing dishes, personal hygiene, making sure that I had eaten something that day!) that I had next to no time to spend with my husband. By the time the baby went to bed and James was home from work it was “eat dinner and get to bed as soon as possible” so we could actually get a decent night’s sleep! The fact that he worked night shift at the time didn’t help matters any. I really missed him…I missed having one-on-one time with him to just talk about things. And of course I loved my baby too, I just wanted to figure out how to juggle my new role as both wife and mother!
I was so at a loss for what to do that I started googling tips on how to find husband/wife time after having your first child! Desperate, I know! I found a few articles about having someone babysit while you go out, but for us, we didn’t have any family within 90 miles of where we lived and we had lost contact with a number of local friends since we had gotten married so that idea was out. I did get a good laugh from a video that I found about this couple who had some insight to offer on the subject. They suggested trying to take time when the baby goes down for naps. Turned out the husband had a work from home job! Oh, if only!
What I did find helpful was if I managed to take a nap when Beth was napping, even just a short one. Most of the time it meant a chore or two wouldn’t get done but, it made it so that I wasn’t completely wiped when James came home. Obviously this wasn’t always a possibility but when it was it really seemed to help make the evenings less stressful. Also, we milked our weekends for all they were worth! Sometimes it just meant staying up extra late to have an in-home movie night with some popcorn but, hey, it’s the little things that count! You could probably say that “Netflix and chill” was our motto! Our monthly grocery shopping trip became an all day outing. We would grab coffees from Panera and then head to the first place on our list. Right before our last store we would go out for dinner.
The #1 key however, to having quality time with the hubby was keeping Elisabeth on a schedule. If she took her proper naps and was going to bed on time than I knew, at least on the weekends, that I had that hour or so set aside for James and me. And of course, the older she got the more independent she became as far as playtime went.